Rollin' on the River

Reader Rolando has some thoughts on player-specific songs of the past, and suggestions for the new season:



"Last season, the River End used a number of player-specific chants. These included the mundane ("Danny Mwanga" to "Seven Nation Army"--he really deserves better), the esoteric ("Justin Mapp" to "I'm the Map" from Dora the Explorer) and the brilliant ("Oh, Le Toux, Le Toux" to "Que Será Será," probably one of the best player songs in the league from the moment he scored his third against DC United), and Mark Sakers' clever "It's a Hard Nak Life" for Kyle Nakazawa.

And let's enjoy a moment of silence for "Seitz, Seitz, Seitz, Seitz, Seitz, Seitz (x3)! Everybody!" and "Knighton" to the tune of "Day Man," from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

I've come up with a few more ideas:

Faryd Mondragon: I don't know whether TRE [The River End - Eds.] denizens know how to pronounce his name, but its rhythm is just like "Feliz Navidad." Boom. Song:

Faryd Mondragon
Faryd Mondragon
Faryd Mondragon / Es el arquero de la Unión (He is the keeper of the Union)
He is a huge and scary badass
He is a huge and scary badass
He is a huge and scary badass
And he will **** your **** up! 





Amobi Okugo: will likely be one of the team's breakout players this year (though the dark arts of the defensive midfield are often lost on casual fans, myself included). But I tried this one out on Twitter and Okugo retweeted it. To the tune of "That's Amore":

When he lets a shot fly
And it's right in your eye
That's Amobi!
He slides in from behind
And he pays you no mind
That's Amobi!






El Pescadito: New acquisition Carlos Ruiz does one thing: score goals. And so he gets the simplest song there is: "Louie Louie."

Ruiz Ruiz
Oh baby!
I said "we need a goal!"
Ai ya ya ya ya ya. (repeat all)





Roger Torres: our diminutive midfield wizard offers gasps at a LeToux-esque rate. Hopefully he'll get some more burn this year, and we can struggle to sing this one. "Baby Got Back" is too fast, and the words are rough. Rap is hard:

I like Roger Torres and I cannot lie
All you other brothers can't deny
He's little in the middle and he's in attack.





Sheanon Williams: we learned last week--from his own Twitter account--that his name is pronounced "Shay non." Still not sure if that "non" is like "nun" or "naan" but that's a discussion for another day. In any case, it brings to mind "Sheena is a Punk Rocker" by The Ramones:

The Philadelphia Union need a goal.
We need someone from the back who will get the ball and go-go-go.
Our right back's really fast
Get out and hit the gas
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh...
Sheanon is a fast runner (x4)"







Rolando sits (rather, stands) in the River End at PPL Park.  Thanks, Rolando!